


i loved you the first time i saw you

by lhknox



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Zoology, morosexual lena luthor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 17:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17063894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhknox/pseuds/lhknox
Summary: "“You have a cassowary??” she asks excitedly. “I’ve only ever met one once before and it was a real challenge because he tried to kill me.”"///Lena has some exotic animals that need a home.Kara is a senior zookeeper at National City Zoo.Lena needs to lie down.





	i loved you the first time i saw you

**Author's Note:**

> i know very little about zoos so this is basically all based on the one time i fed a giraffe at the zoo when i was eight.
> 
> dedicated to the zoo worker who came into my bookstore in her uniform and made me fall in love with her while i helped her find a book. i'll never forget you, zoo girl.
> 
> (unbeta'd and the title is from brandi carlile's party of one)

_ I wish to make a donation, _ reads the letter,  _ to your fine zoological establishment. My brother, may he rest in peace, owned over two dozen exotic, well cared for animals. As I am now in control of his estate, I would like to gift them to you. It is my understanding that National City Zoo is one of the top conservation institutions in the world. I believe these animals would find a loving home within your walls. If you would like to move forward with this arrangements, please feel free to contact my secretary, Jessica, at ----- _

 

“Arthur, no!” Kara cries, but it’s too late. The tiger cub she’s currently feeding rips the handwritten letter from Kara’s hands, munching on it with little satisfaction. “That had Ms. Luthor’s contact information on it! Alex trusted me with it!” 

 

The tiger doesn’t respond, instead squirming to get out of Kara’s grip. She sighs and sets him down into his pen. She writes it down how much he’s eaten on the chart: seven ounces of his formula, seventy five grams of turkey breast, half of an A4 piece of medium weight paper.

 

“Kara we have a situation in the rhino enclosure,” comes a voice from her walkie talkie. “Requesting back up please.”

 

“Copy that,” Kara replies. “I’m on my way.” 

 

She bends down and narrows her eyes at Arthur. 

 

“Don’t even think of telling anybody about this,” she says, and he just mews through the mesh in return. She sticks her finger through the netting of the pen and he nibbles on the end of it. “See you soon, bud.”

 

Becoming a zookeeper feels like it was the only destiny Kara had. Caring for beasts often feared by others, loving the small cuddly ones, and helping out all the others in between, Kara feels more at home in a tiger habitat than she does anywhere else. She thinks that maybe Kryptonians have some sort of animal sixth sense, because the animals respond to her in a way she’s never seen before. Maybe they can sense that she’s not technically human. Whatever the reason, it means she can help out with the animals in ways her coworkers can’t.

 

By the time she gets to the rhino enclosure, a small crowd has gathered, watching as one of the smaller rhinos struggles, caught in a bit of netting. 

 

“What’s the sitch?” Kara says, as she makes her way to the staff door. 

 

“Thanks for coming, Kim Possible,” says Alex, one of the head keepers. “But Brainy’s got it covered.”

 

Kara watches as Brainy delicately cuts Nellie out of the netting. 

 

“Why does she keep doing that?” Kara asks, watching the animals fondly.

 

“I think she’s just an attention whore,” Alex replies. “A crowd always gathers and she gets to spend some one on one time with a keeper. By the way, I need that letter from Lena Luthor back ASAP, so we can figure out which we can take on and which we can send elsewhere.”

 

“Uh… About that…”

 

Alex sighs. She should’ve known better than trusting her sister with the letter. She blames herself for whatever Kara’s about to say. 

 

“What happened?”

 

“Arthur ate it. Well, he ate the part of it. But it was the part with the contact information.”

 

“Kara! You let a tiger eat the contact information of the most powerful woman in America!”

 

“It’s not my fault! You gave it to me right before feeding time and I wanted to read it!”

 

“Fix this,” is all Alex says before she walks away. Kara sighs. Does her sister always have to be so dramatic? It’s not like Lena Luthor is hard to find, she’s one of the most famous people in the entire world. She’ll just do some googling and some emailing.

 

“This’ll be a piece of cake,” Kara says to herself.

 

///

 

It isn’t, in fact, a piece of cake. 

 

Kara groans as she throws her phone onto the break room couch. 

 

“No luck?” asks Lucy from the table. She tosses Kara a juice box. “Drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”

 

Kara catches the drink and stabs the straw through the top, before slurping loudly.

 

“I’ve called like every single number on the LCorp website, I’ve called the building, and nobody will put me through to Jessica the Secretary let alone Lena Luthor.”

 

“Why don’t you just go down there?” Lucy says, lazily flicking through a magazine. “Your charm works a lot better in person. Your nice smile makes up for all of the word vomit.”

 

“That’s actually a great idea, I’ll just go to the building right now and explain in person so they know I’m not some scammer.” She drinks the rest of the juice box in a single go. “Thanks for the drink, Luce. And thanks for volunteering to do Arthur’s afternoon feed!”

 

“I never--”

 

But Kara’s already gone.

 

///

 

Lena Luthor is stressed. Granted, that seems to be her permanent state of being nowadays, but today it’s worse.

 

She’s been fielding calls all day from different media outlets, still wanting to do interviews about her brother’s death despite the fact she’s already told them no. She’s adamant that the statement they released is enough; she just wants to run the company in relative peace.

 

She wishes… well, she wishes a lot of things. But at the moment, she wishes that her brother had left the business in better shape before his untimely demise, and that she could take a five hour nap instead of dealing with all of the bullshit at LCorp today.

 

Jess bustles into her office, a stack of notes and papers in one hand and a comically large cup of coffee in the other. She hands Lena the coffee first, because she’s not a fucking idiot.

 

“This is your third coffee of the day and you told me to cut you off here, so make it count.”

 

“Sounds fake but okay,” Lena replies, sipping the coffee with like she’s on war rations or something. “What are all those messages?”

 

“Meeting with the board’s been moved to tomorrow, your mother wants to get lunch, and Rachel Maddow wants to do a profile on you as the newest power lesbian on the block.” She puts some forms in front of Lena, who signs them with superhuman speed.

 

“Thank god, when hell freezes over, and only if she buys me dinner first, in that order.”

 

“Got it. Oh, and the zoo people contacted us.” Lena misses the small twitch in Jess’s lips as she tries to hold in her laughter.

 

“Just set up a time for them to pick up the animals from Lex’s place.”

 

“Actually, ma’am, one of them is here to see you. In person.” Jess says as she heads to the door.

 

“I don’t wanna talk to some animal person, just deal with them yourself.”

 

“Whoops, I already told her you were available,” Jess says quickly, before sticking her head out the door. “You can come in!” she calls out.

 

“Jess!” Lena hisses, but her secretary is gone and in her stead stands what Lena could only describe as… you know what, she doesn’t know how to describe her at all.

 

The woman wears all khaki, cargo shorts that end just above the knee and a button up short sleeve shirt tucked into them. Her black belt has different equipment hanging off it, and matches the chunky work boots that Lena suspects have dragged mud throughout the building. She holds a pith hat with both hands, twirling it nervously. 

 

But once she’s finished taking in the ridiculous outfit, Lena realises that she’s staring at the single most beautiful person she’s ever seen. Her hair is cropped short, a messy mop of blonde, ruffled from wearing the hat. Her skin is tanned, with a slight sunburn under her eyes. And behind the black rimmed glasses (with clip-on sunglasses flipped up) are startling blue eyes that Lena can see even from where she stands.

 

Lena doesn’t know whether to fire Jess or give her a raise. All she knows is that her secretary is an evil mastermind who most definitely wants to watch her die. Because why else would she have done this to her. Why has she brought this beautiful safari goddess into her office and into her life?

 

“Er, hello,” the woman says. “My name is Kara, Kara Danvers. I’m one of the senior zookeepers at National City Zoo.” Kara has one of the most pleasant voices Lena’s ever heard, a warmth to it that she doesn’t often come by in the corporate world.  

 

Lena stands up and holds out a hand. “It’s lovely to meet you, Ms. Danvers. I’m Lena Luthor.” Kara shakes her hand. Her grip is firm and her skin is rough and Lena’s thoughts immediately become inappropriate for the workplace. She blames the stress she’s under and she blames the beautiful woman in front of her. But mostly she blames Jess. Stupid, wonderful Jess.

 

“No need to be so formal, Ms. Luthor, just call me Kara,” she says with a bright smile, and holy fucking shit, it’s absolutely dazzling.

 

“Not to sound ungrateful about your visit, but I was under the impression that the zoo was going to call my secretary regarding my brother’s animals, Kara. To what do I own this particular pleasure?”

 

Kara smiles sheepishly. “It’s a long story, you see, why I couldn’t call Jess. I was feeding Arthur-”

 

“Arthur?”

 

“He’s one of our Bengal tiger cubs. He’s eight weeks old and he’s a bit sick at the moment so we’ve got him in isolation from the others. He gets fed a few times a day and I’m on Arthur patrol at the moment, because apparently tiger cubs find me soothing.”

 

Lena nods in understanding and amusement, so incredibly enchanted by the woman before her. 

 

“So you’re feeding Arthur.”

 

“Right. And my sister Alex, she’s the head keeper so she got your letter because it was addressed to her. And she was like, ‘oh cool a letter from Lena Luthor’, and she asked me what I thought so I took the letter to read, only she gave it to me during Arthur’s eating time even though she  _ knows  _ I have zero impulse control and would have to read it straight away, so when you think about it, everything is totally and completely Alex’s fault---”

 

“I’m sorry, Kara, I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

 

“Arthur ate the letter,” Kara blurts out. “Actually, he ate half the letter. It just so happened to be the part with all of your contact information on it. So I had to come here.”

 

Lena smiles at Kara, caught somewhere between shock and ardent admiration for her, almost like she can’t believe anything quite as wonderful actually exists on this hellhole of a planet.

 

“Right,” she says finally. “In that case, take a seat and we can go over the list of animals currently in my care.”

 

Kara sits across from Lena, gently placing her hat on the other seat. She sits awkwardly straight, as though she feels as out of place as she looks. Lena ruffles through some of the papers on her desk, finding the one she’s looking for with a small ‘aha’. She hands it to Kara, who scans it quickly, eliciting a large gasp very quickly.

 

“You have a cassowary??” she asks excitedly. “I’ve only ever met one once before and it was a real challenge because he tried to kill me.”

 

Lena makes an executive decision to ignore that piece of information.

 

“We have twenty seven animals altogether, none which I have the time nor inclination to look after. Which is where your zoo comes in.”

 

“Most of these animals would thrive a lot better in a more suitable environment, anyway,” Kara says. “We can probably take, I’d say more than half this list. And the others I’d be happy to help find a home at other zoos with different resources than us.”

 

“That would be incredibly helpful, thank you. Obviously, we’d pay for all transportation costs, and I’m sure a nice donation is in order for helping us relocate the others.”

 

“Don’t worry, Ms. Luthor, you can come and visit them any time you want,” Kara says, as though she actually thinks Lena - pencil skirt and high heels Lena - would want to ever see those things Lex kept in his mansion.

 

“Thank you so much, Kara,” Lena replies, as though she’d actually take Kara up on the offer.

 

Her computer dings, and she sees an urgent email from her lawyers pop up. She sighs heavily, knowing that it’ll have to be dealt with immediately.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

“I’m so sorry, Kara, but I’m going to have to cut this meeting short.” She’s really genuinely disappointed that she can’t spend more time with Kara.

 

“Oh, that’s alright. I’m sure you’ve got plenty on your plate without me turning up unannounced.”

 

“Take Jess’s business card on your way out, and you can liaise with her in regards to organising the transportation.”

 

Kara stands up, picking up her hat, and offering Lena her hand again. Lena shakes it, this time ready for the warmth it makes her feel.

 

“It was a pleasure meeting you,” Kara says.

 

“Likewise,” Lena replies. “I hope I’ll see you again soon.”

 

Kara smiles again before leaving the room, and Lena collapses into her chair, knowing she’ll definitely need a quick cold shower before she meets her lawyers. Jess appears a few minutes later.

 

“So,” she says, with an insufferable smirk on her face. “Did you like Crocodile Dundee?”

 

“Fuck you,” Lena groans. “I’m obsessed with her.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“You want me to thank you? Make sure I’m at Lex’s place when they’re picking up the animals.”

 

“She might not even be there.”

 

Lena sighs, thinking about the bright blue eyes that reminded Lena of the restless ocean on a summer’s day, and the smile so bright it was almost blinding.

 

“I’m willing to take the chance.”

  
  


///

 

Lex’s house is like a zoo. 

 

Dozens of workers walk around, getting the animals ready for safe transport, and the animals are making it a lot harder than it needs to be. Looks like they’re all Luthors, through and through.

 

Lena’s running late, her meeting running over time, and by the time she makes it there, most of the animals are already ready to go.

 

“Lena!” Kara calls out as soon as she spots her. She’s wearing the same uniform she was in last time, and the same giant smile. Oh, and a giant snake is draped around her shoulders. “I didn’t think you’d make it.”

 

“I know, me too,” she says. “But it’s good to see you. How’re things going?”

 

“As good as can be,” Kara replies. “Just fixing up the last few now.”

 

“And, er, is wearing that thing safe?”

 

“Oh, Octavia over here? Yeah, she’s totally fine. Animals sort of love me, I make them calm or something.” She holds the snake out to Lena. “D’you wanna pet her?”

 

“I’m fine,” Lena says through a forced smile. 

 

Kara shrugs. The snake bobs up and down with her shoulders.

 

“Yo, Kara!” Lucy calls out. “We’re all good to go as soon as you put Nagini there into her transport box.”

 

“Aye aye, captain!” Kara replies, and Lena watches as she visibly cringes. Lena, though, she thinks it’s sweet. She watches as Kara puts the snake away, and she admires the muscles in her arms, the way they peek out from underneath her shirt. Lena allows herself for a moment to imagine what Kara would look like without her shirt on, without her pants, without---

 

She stops herself. This is a matter of business.

 

“Well,” Kara says as she comes bounding back over. “I guess that’s it.”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“Alex said she’s gonna send the invoice through to Jess ASAP.”

 

“That’s all fine,” Lena replies, trying desperately to think of something else to say so she can keep talking to Kara. But all she can think of is the sharpness of Kara’s jaw, the thought of running her fingers over it…

 

“You okay?” Kara asks. “You seem distracted.”

 

“Nope, all good,” Lena says, shaking herself from her fervour. “I’m just sorry I came so late.”  _ And didn’t get to spend more time with you. _

 

“Yeah, I was looking forward to seeing you,” Kara says, voicing the feelings Lena cannot. “But I’m glad I got to talk to you again, even if it was only for a little while.”

 

Lena feels her heart soar. Kara wanted to see her, too. She felt something, too.

 

“The offer still stands,” she says to Lena. “You can visit the animals any time you want.”

 

“And what about the zookeepers, can I see them, too?” Lena asks, deciding to give into her feelings and let a little flirting out.

 

“I’ll put your name on a special list at the front door that’ll make sure they page me as soon as you set foot onto zoo property.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” says Lena, smiling up at Kara. 

 

///

 

God, lawyers are boring.

 

Lena spends times like these - balls deep in negotiations and legal jargon - wishing she had chosen a different career path. Her science degrees seem to be of barely any use anymore as she puts her MBA to the test, running LCorp and making big business decisions rather than getting down and dirty with a beaker and fun explosive chemicals.

 

She thinks maybe in another life she would’ve been a high school science teacher or something, something low stakes and chill. Something that doesn’t make her want to jump off her thirty-storey high balcony every day. And for some reason, it’s getting harder and harder for Lena to pay attention.

 

Well, she knows exactly why. Her mind keeps wandering to Kara Danvers, no matter how hard she tries not to think about her. She can’t help it, she’s drawn to Kara in a way she’s never experienced before. It’s as though they’re supposed to be together on an atomic level, the ancient stardust that makes up their particles and atoms and matter demanding to be reunited once more.

 

But instead, she’s sitting in a boardroom, staring out the window, wishing she could be anywhere else.

 

And then she remembers that she’s the CEO and she could literally take a shit in the middle of the boardroom and have a group of grown ass men applaud her for it. She can do whatever she wants.

 

“Sorry, gentlemen,” she says, cutting off somebody who she wants to say is named Jefferson. “But we’re going to have to postpone this. I have another meeting to get to.”

 

“But Ms. Luthor--”

 

She stands up, holding up a hand to silence him.

 

“My hands are tied,” she says. “Maybe next time we should get to the point a bit quicker, hey boys?”

 

They grumble in agreement, and Lena leaves the room without another word. 

 

She doesn’t even head back to her office, instead making her way downstairs, sending a text to her driver to meet her out front and then calling Jess.

 

“Sorry to do this to you, but cancel all my afternoon appointments,” she says. “I’m taking the afternoon off.”

 

“Is this a midlife crisis? Are you crisising?”

 

“I just need some me time. Get out of the office, spend some time with nature.”

 

Jess gasps. “You’re going to the zoo, aren’t you??”

 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Lena says stiffly. Jess just laughs.

 

“Tell Bindi Irwin I say hi,” she says. 

 

“Please,” Lena says, getting into the back of her town car. “She’s much more of a Steve.” 

 

///

 

As promised, Lena’s name is at the top of some sort of VIP list when she arrives at the front desk. 

 

“Just wait right here,” the worker says, “and someone will come to escort you to the lions.”

 

The lions? She wonders if that’s where Kara takes all the girls she likes. She wonders how many girls there are, vying for Kara’s attention, estimating it to be somewhere in the hundreds. Kara is the type of girl you fall in love with after seeing on the bus for five minutes, the type of girl you thirst follow on Instagram and stalk at 2am. Does Lena even have a chance here? What does she have going for her other than a hectic work schedule and a mountain of baggage?

 

“Ms. Luthor, hello!” says a young woman who comes bounding towards her. She wears the same uniform as Kara, though Lena thinks it looks a lot better on Kara. “I’m Nia, I’m here to take you down to meet Kara.”

 

“By the lions?” Lena asks, only slightly wary. 

 

“That’s right! Just come this way.” 

 

The zoo is loud and it smells like, well, animals. She didn’t expect any different, but now that she’s amongst it all she’s not sure if she made the right decision. There’s a thousand things she has to do at work and instead she’s down at the zoo following a tiny crush she has on somebody she’s only ever seen twice.

 

“We’re just in time for feeding,” Nia tells her. 

 

“And Kara does that?”

 

Nia nods. “She has this thing with animals, it’s hard to explain. They just love her so much. It’s like she can read their minds or something, they just turn into big softies whenever she’s around. It’s perfect for when we have shows and big crowds of people.”

 

A sizeable crowd gathers around the lion enclosure, and Lena hears Kara’s voice before she sees her.

 

“Now, in the wild these guys and gals would be hunting for their own food, but we can’t just let them go into the zebra enclosure.” The crowd laughs. “Instead, we put it on this prong thing and shake it back and forth, and we make it look like the beef is moving around and ready to be hunted.”

 

Lena follows Nia to the front of the crowd and sees Kara sitting cross-legged on the grass by the pride of lions, and handsfree microphone allowing her to speak to the zoo patrons. Small cubs climb over her, one sits in her lap, and she looks way more relaxed than she did in Lena’s office.

 

“Usually lions won’t be this friendly to outsiders during feeding times because they’re in predator mode. I’m only an exception to this rule because they think I’m one of them with all this messy hair,” she jokes, lifting up her hat and showing off that unruly mess of hair.

 

The crowd gasps as one of the lions jumps onto the piece of meat being held out by one of Kara’s colleagues, and Kara whips around to see what they’re reacting to.

 

“There you have it! That’s Tony Hawk in action. Don’t let the name fool you, Tony Hawk doesn’t know how to ride a skateboard and she’s also a female lion, which we already know because as we discussed earlier, the female lions are the hunters. That’s feminism, ladies and gents!”

 

Lena watches as Kara spots her, a huge smile sprouting on her face, waving at her like an excited child. A few people in the crowd turn to look at who the cute zookeeper is waving to, and she hears her name turn into a whisper that spreads quickly. She can feel herself blush, embarrassed by the attention and already wary thinking of the headlines on Buzzfeed tomorrow morning.

 

“Nia, can I ask you an odd question that might stay between us?” Lena doesn’t know what she’s doing anymore, confiding in zoo staff she’s just barely met. 

 

“Of course! Ask anything you’d like!”

 

“Does Kara… bring other people to the zoo? Like, how long is her VIP list?” Lena cringes as she speaks. Why does she sound like a thirteen year old with a school girl crush? She’s never felt like this before, not even when she  _ was  _ a thirteen year old school girl. She doesn’t like this feeling, in fact, she rather hates it, feeling as though she’s controlled by another. 

 

“To be honest with you, ma’am, I’ve only worked here for a short while--”

 

“Nevermind, I shouldn’t--” Lena says, ready to bail on the whole idea of asking Nia if Kara like-likes her.

 

“Her current list only has four other people on it, and they’re all related to her.”

 

“That’s… good to know. Thank you.”

 

“For what?” Nia asks with a wink, and Lena breathes a sigh of relief.

 

They turn their attention back to Kara and the lions, and Lena sort of envies Kara. She looks so comfortable amongst the animals, so at home and secure. How wonderful must it be to know your true calling, to find the very thing you’re absolutely destined for.

 

Lena’s never been in charge of her own life. She’s followed familial obligation and instruction from the moment she stepped into the Luthor family mansion. Sure, she loved science, but she was only ever going to use it within the Luthor Corporation, channeling her genius into projects deemed suitable by the board and her brother. Now that Lex is dead, Lena knows she has more freedom. But somehow, she’s still stuck in a place she didn’t actively choose to be, behind the desk of a CEO, figuring out how to save her family’s failing public image.

 

Staring down at Kara, Lena thinks this is the first thing she’s done in a long time that is just for her. She wants Kara to be in her life, for some reason she can’t quite figure out. And maybe it’s time that Lena gets the things she wants.

 

“Are you ready?” Nia asks, and Lena snaps out of her wandering thoughts.

 

“For what?”

 

“Kara just radioed me, she said she’d meet us by the giraffes.”

 

///

 

Lena’s not sure how Kara manages to look sexy whilst standing on a balcony in her stupid uniform next to a giant, ridiculously proportioned animal, but goddamn she does. She’s talking to a few kids, gesturing to the giraffe, probably explaining something, and Lena holds back for a second, letting her finish the conversation. Nia hangs back too, and Lena is grateful that she gets the hint that Lena needs a second.

 

“Kara’s one of the best people I know,” Nia says, quietly. Lena can barely hear her over the cacophony of the zoo, but she swears for a second that Kara looks up as soon as she hears her name being said, before returning to her conversation with the kids.

 

“She seems pretty special,” Lena agrees. Again, she swears Kara smiles as she says it, almost as though she can hear their conversation, but that would be crazy.

 

“She’s kind to everyone and everything she meets,” Nia says. “But…”

 

“But what?” Lena asks, panic already building in her chest.

 

Nia shrugs. “I’ve never heard her talk about anybody the way she’s been talking about you.”

 

“She’s been talking about me?” 

 

“Yep. I guess you must be just as special as she is.”

 

“Or just insanely lucky,” Lena says under her breath. It’s at that moment that Kara finishes her conversation with the small kids, and she waves at Lena, beckoning her over.

 

“Thanks for showing me around,” she tells Nia, but Nia is already gone. Sneaky.

 

Kara greets her with a bear hug, one that makes Lena very grateful for both Kara’s seeming lack of social anxiety and also her biceps.

 

“It’s so good to see you!” Kara says. “You ready to see how Lex’s guys and gals are doing?”

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

“Well this is the first of them, Cornelius,” Kara says, gesturing to the giraffe wandering around in the space below them. Even with the added height the small balcony gives them, the giraffe’s are still taller. “He’s fitting in really well with Muffins and Lois Lane.”

 

Lena laughs. “You named a giraffe after Lois Lane?”

 

“I lost a bet with her,” Kara grumbles, before elaborating. “She’s married to my cousin and our Thanksgiving dinner got out of hand a few years back. So now there’s Lois Lane the giraffe, and a platypus named Winn Schott, Jr.”

 

“Are we just going to skip over the fact your cousin is Clark Kent?”

 

“You know him?”

 

“He and my brother used to butt heads a lot. He wrote scathing articles and Lex would respond by trying to murder aliens.”

 

“Right. Sorry. I totally forgot, I didn’t mean to make things awkward or weird--”

 

Lena rests her arm on Kara’s, calming her down before she gets a full on nervous rant.

 

“Kara, it’s totally fine; I’m not my brother.”

 

Kara sighs in relief. “In that case, do you want to feed Cornelius?”

 

“I….” The answer is no, no she does not want to feed the giraffe. But this is all about risks, isn’t it? Coming here and seeing Kara? And maybe this is another risk she’s going to have to take.

 

“Sure,” Lena settles on. “I’ll feed him.”

 

“Okay, so I’d take off any rings if I were you, but don’t worry it’s not dangerous.”

 

Lena takes off the one ring she wears (and her watch, just in case) and puts it in her blazer pocket. Kara hands her a carrot.

 

“So just hold it up by the tip here, and he’ll come and take it from your hand.”

 

Lena does as she’s told, and shortly after Cornelius approaches, sticking his tongue out and taking the carrot, covering Lena’s hand in giraffe saliva.

 

“That was… interesting,” Lena says with a slight frown. “He can just eat whole carrots like that?”

 

“Oh yeah, he’s totally fine,” Kara assures her. “Do you want to feed him another one?”

 

“That’s okay, one’s enough,” Lena says all too quickly. “Shall we move on to the other animals?”

 

All in all, National City Zoo had kept sixteen out of twenty seven of Lex’s animals, including Cornelius and Octavia. The list includes two lions, a bear cub, several peacocks and one flamingo. There’s also Mr Popper, a penguin that Lena still isn’t sure how Lex acquired, Daphne, an old tortoise that moved slower than anything Lena’s seen before, and Rex, a baby alligator that is oddly adorable, if not for the terrifyingly sharp teeth.

 

“So who’s your favourite?” Kara asks, licking an ice cream that’s already melting all over her hand. Lena had offered to pay, but the vendors had refused her money. Kara told her it’s part of the job perks. Lena wonders if sticky hands is indeed a perk.

 

“My favourite?” Lena asks. 

 

“Of Lex’s animals, you’ve gotta have a favourite.”

 

“Do  _ you  _ have a favourite?” Lena replies.

 

Kara looks offended. “I can’t have a favourite! These animals are like my children. Would you ask a parent if they had a favourite??”

 

“My mother tells me almost daily who her favourite is,” Lena says without meaning to; she hates mentioning her mother voluntarily.

 

“That sounds… like a not nice thing for her to do,” Kara says, her brow furrowed. “I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”

 

“It’s okay,” Lena says, “It’s not like she’s my real mom anyway.”

 

“Sounds complicated,” Kara says awkwardly, and god, Lena wishes she would’ve just shut the fuck up instead of bringing up her stupid family history.

 

“What about your family?” Lena asks. “What are they like?”

 

“Well my sister Alex is the head zookeeper here,” Kara says. A smile spreads across her face as soon as she mentions Alex, and Lena thinks it’s the best thing she’s seen about Kara so far. “She’s four years older than me and she’s pretty awesome. When my parents died, she and her parents took me in. I’ve been with them since I was twelve.”

 

Kara stops talking and faces Lena. She can see ice cream remnants on her face because  _ of course  _ she’s the messiest eater Lena’s ever seen.

 

“All families are complicated,” Kara says. “Animals eat their young, tigersharks eat their siblings in the womb.”

 

“Is this supposed to be uplifting?” 

 

Kara smiles. “We’re still who we’re meant to be at the end of the day. We go through hard times and come out the other end stronger and better, ready to survive whatever happens next.”

 

Lena can’t help herself, she steps forward and hugs Kara tightly. She feels Kara’s arms tighten around her in return, and for a moment, Lena feels more at home in this zoo - in the arms of a relative stranger - than she has since the first time she walked into the Luthor mansion. All too soon, they break away from each other and Lena finds herself lost in the magnetic blue of Kara’s eyes.

 

“For someone who spends all day with animals,” Lena says, “you’re really good with words.”

 

Kara laughs loudly, taking Lena by the hand and leading them back through the zoo. 

 

“Speaking to animals means they never talk back,” Kara says. “Which means I get to do all the talking.”

 

“So tell me more about Alex,” Lena says, wanting to watch Kara light up again.

 

And for the rest of the afternoon she listens to Kara talk about her sister and their childhood in Midvale. She listens to Kara as she gives her random information about the animals they pass. And she thinks that even though this all feels a bit insane, maybe it’s where she’s meant to be.

 

///

 

Night falls and Lena leaves the zoo and Kara practically floats back to the staff quarters. She’s never felt like this before, not truly. Not with Jimmy in high school and not with Mike in college. Maybe a little with Kate, that one time when she was interning at Gotham Zoo. 

 

But with Lena, everything feels different. Being with Lena feels so incredibly natural that now, when Lena’s not here, Kara feels weird and incomplete. 

 

Is it completely crazy to feel so attached to somebody you’ve only met three times?

 

Yeah, probably, Kara thinks. But who the hell cares? Lena is beautiful and wonderful and so incredibly magical that Kara decides that the rules of normalcy probably don’t apply to her.

 

“So how was your date?” Alex asks as Kara enters the locker room. She’s out of uniform, and lounging on one of the benches, clearly waiting for Kara to come in. “Good enough to blow off work for an entire afternoon?”

 

“First of all,” Kara says, already feeling herself getting defensive. “It wasn’t a date. Second of all, I radioed through and everybody was happy to cover for me.”

 

“It’s just not like you,” Alex replies. “Missing work like that.”

 

“You didn’t care when I did the same when Clark was in town with Lois and Kal Jr.”

 

“That’s different, they’re family! Lena Luthor is--”

 

“Is what, Alex? Funny, smart, kind? I like spending time with her, I don’t see what the big deal is.”

 

“The big deal is that you and her aren’t exactly from the same world,” Alex says carefully.

 

“Great, so it always comes back to Krypton,” Kara says, rolling her eyes.

 

“That’s not what I meant!”

 

“Don’t lie, that’s exactly what you meant.”

 

“I meant, she’s Lena Luthor!” Alex says, standing up. “She’s one of the youngest CEOs in history and she’s worth billions of dollars. Her world is complicated and filled with calculated decisions for every tiny thing. Are you ready to deal with the paparazzi in your face twenty-four seven? Ready for swanky parties and having to deal with the baggage that comes along with dating a Luthor??”

 

Kara sighs. She knows Alex is just trying to protect her, that she’s acting out of love. But, god, does she have to be protective all the damn time?”

 

“Alex, to be honest with you? I haven’t thought that far ahead. I just…. I really like her, in a weird, I-didn’t-know-I-could-like-someone-this-much kind of way. And it feels totally bonkers, but it also feels like something I have to follow. And it would be a lot easier if I had you on my side while I do this.”

 

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” Alex says simply.

 

Kara shrugs. “You’ll be there to help me if I do.”

 

Alex hugs her, and Kara feels a surge of affection for her sister.

 

“So tell me about your date,” Alex says, sitting back down. Kara laughs, and starts to get changed.

 

And then she tells Alex about the wonder that is Lena Luthor.

 

///

 

Lena thinks she’s reached a low point when Jess walks in on her crying over a Youtube video.

 

But it’s not her fault, honestly it’s not. 

 

It’s stupid Kara’s fault. 

 

In the three weeks following Lena’s zoo visit, she visits five more times. And then she hits what she can only describe as a whirlwind of shit. Her mother comes to town, somebody claims that Lex fathered their child, paternity tests ensue, stocks drop, and Lena is trying to stay on top of it all.

 

She doesn’t have time to, say, go to the zoo on a Wednesday afternoon just so a particularly cute zookeeper can tell her about the sleeping patterns of the Angolian meerkat.

 

So instead Kara starts texting her random animal facts, alongside dozens of indecipherable emojis, and then finally, animal videos. They start off sweet and innocent enough, sometimes compilations of cat videos from around the web, sometimes videos Kara takes of herself with the animals at work. But then she sends Lena a video of a lion named Christian being reunited with his old owners after almost a year apart and Lena finds herself sitting at her desk with tears streaming uncontrollably down her face. And then her breathing comes in shudders and she realises she’s sobbing uncontrollably, watching a lion turn into a harmless kitten when reunited with the ones he loves. 

 

And all Lena can think is damn this happy lion whose short mane reminds her of Kara’s hair and damn his happy hippy owners and damn Kara for making her cry like this.

 

“Er… I can come back another time,” Jess says from the doorway, and Lena wipes away her tears and slams her laptop shut.

 

“It’s alright Jess, come in,” Lena says, her voice still thick with emotion. “I was just…” Lena stops. And she tries to make a snap judgement about whether asking Jess for relationship advice would be seen as workplace harassment of some sort and whether she could be bothered finding a new assistant if things went south.

 

“Is this about Kara Danvers?” Jess asks, and Lena sighs in relief. God, she’s grateful to her past self for hiring somebody so brilliant.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You have feelings for her.” It’s the first time Lena’s heard those words said out loud and she feels whatever anxieties she has melt away as her heart skips a beat, and she smiles broadly.

 

“Yeah,” she whispers. “Really strong feelings. Huge, monumental ones.”

 

Jess shrugs. “So what’s the problem? You’ve been out publicly since you were eighteen, surely this isn’t a big deal?”

 

“Kara is amazing and sweet and gorgeous, but… I mean, people expect me to have a Veronica Sinclair on my arm, not Jane Goodall.”

 

“May I speak frankly, Ms Luthor?” Jess asks, and Lena suddenly remembers that Jess is her employee, not her friend.

 

“Of course.”

 

Jess straightens her back, getting ready to speak her mind.

 

“You care about your image way too much. I know that it’s important, that you run a company and all of that shit, but honestly it just always feels like the choices you make are the ones you expect your mother to want you to make. And sure, Kara is a weird choice for your image, but you shouldn’t let that factor into your decision making. You like her. She’s really lovely. You should just… give it a go. Do something because you want to do it, not because you think the world expects it or not.”

 

Jess’s advice hangs in the air between them as Lena mulls over everything that’s just been said. And then finally she replies,

 

“When’s the last time you got a raise?”

 

///

 

(Jess isn’t the least bit surprised when, ten minutes after their little heart to heart, Lena announces that she’s taking the afternoon off.

 

She had already pushed back all of her meetings.)

 

///

 

When Lena arrives at the zoo, the ticket counter people tell her Kara’s supposed to be by the penguin enclosure. So she heads straight there, already familiar with the zoo’s layout having been there so many times before.

 

By the time she gets there, Kara is soaking from head to toe, the crowd around her laughing and cheering. 

 

“What happened?” Lena asks one of the workers, casually watching with the rest of the crowd. If he’s surprised to see Lena there, he doesn’t act like it; the staff had been oddly welcoming and protective of Lena every time she had come for a visit.

 

“Kara was doing her penguin impersonation and tripped on a bucket of fish. Fell right in. Wish I could tell you this was the first time this has happened.”

 

Lena rolls her eyes affectionately because literally any time somebody tells her something about Kara, it makes her like her even more,  _ especially  _ when she does stupid shit. Lena casually makes her way to the front of the crowd, where Kara spots her immediately. She gestures for Lena to join her around at the side staff entrance, and just moments later, Lena is trying her hardest not to throw her arms around a sopping Kara, who smells faintly of fish.

 

“It’s good to see you,” Kara says earnestly, as she wrings out her shirt. “Before we chat, can I go get changed?”

 

“Of course,” Lena replies. Kara grabs her hand and pulls her through the park, taking her to the staff quarters. 

 

“This is the locker room,” Kara says, somewhat obviously. She makes her way to her locker, unbuttoning and peeling off her shirt as she goes. She takes off her shorts next, fumbling to get them off over her boots. Lena tries to look away, she really does, but for the first time she can truly appreciate Kara’s toned, muscular body. It’s lean in ways Lena has never seen before, as though every inch of Kara has been sculpted by the gods, as though she’s been sent to earth from the heavens above. Lena watches the way her muscles move as she stretches, the way they accentuate as she pulls a new tank top over her head.

 

“Wow,” Lena says under her breath. Kara turns around, an eyebrow raised.

 

“Did you say something?”

 

“Uhh… Can we talk somewhere private?”

 

It’s at that exact moment the doors open and half a dozen zookeepers come pouring in, each talking loudly over the group. Great, Lena thinks, just her fucking luck.

 

Kara finishes getting changed, putting her hat back on last, before taking Lena’s hand again.

 

“I’ve got somewhere we can go,” she says.

 

///

 

“This is beautiful,” Lena says, staring up at the canopy above them. 

 

“It’s called a lepidopterarium,” Kara says, the word just rolling off her tongue with ease. “But we just call it the Butterfly House for the simple folk.”

 

Lena gasps, feigning shock. “So I’m simple folk now?”

 

“You’re non-zoo folk,” Kara clarifies.

 

“So why is it empty now?” Lena asks. The room is gorgeous, a massive dome filled with plants and humidity. Lena can spot butterflies through the leaves, the bright colours of their wings flapping about peacefully.

 

“Some kid spewed in here earlier,” Kara says, “it’s still closed for cleaning.”

 

“Romantic,” Lena mutters, looking around for a pile of vomit somewhere. But then she looks back up and Kara’s smiling at her in front of a canopy of green. Her sunglasses are flipped up and look like weird Mickey Mouse ears on her forehead and her eyes crinkle in the corners, and Lena doesn’t quite understand how happiness can totally encapsulate an entire being like it does with Kara. A butterfly lands on the rim of her hat, like she’s a damn disney character or something.

 

“Can I tell you something?” Kara asks. She refuses to look away from Lena, something Lena finds unsettling and oddly arousing. 

 

“You can tell me anything,” she replies. 

 

“I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about you once since we first met. You’re just…. you’re exquisite,” Kara admits. 

 

“Can I tell  _ you  _ something?” Lena asks, and Kara nods, nervously biting her lip. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, either. There’s something about you, I feel like I always need more.” 

 

Kara’s the one who steps forward first. She reaches down and intertwines her fingers with Lena’s. Lena, too, steps forward, and then suddenly they’re just right there, in front of one another. Kara still sort of smells like fish but Lena doesn’t care because she can’t look away from the deep blue of her eyes, swirling universes that hold so much more than Lena could ever know. Kara leans down ever so slightly and then before Lena realises what’s happening, they’re kissing. They’re kissing and Kara’s hand leaves Lena’s, finding its way onto her hip, the other resting of the small of her back. Lena leans into the kiss, her head pushing Kara’s hat back and off her head, and Lena plants her hand in Kara’s short hair on the back of her head. It feels perfect and it feels like kismet and for just a moment it feels like they float up off the ground and amongst the butterflies.

 

“Oh, er, I’m sorry--” comes a voice from the back of the House. Lena and Kara break away from each other, breathless and flushed, and find Nia averting her gaze, having obviously already seen them kissing.

 

“Nia?”

 

“I’m really sorry for interrupting,” she says earnestly, “but there’s an Arthur situation and Alex sent me to find you because you weren’t answering your walkie.”

 

Kara feels for her walkie talkie, but she can’t find it. 

 

“I must’ve left it in my locker,” she sighs. “Tell Alex I’ll be right there.”

 

Nia leaves, apologising profusely as she does. Kara bends down to pick up her hat, and Lena tries to control every urge she has to touch Kara again.

 

“I’m sorr--” Kara starts to say.

 

“Have dinner with me,” Lena says, cutting her off. “Go on a date with me.”

 

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Kara asks with a smile.

 

“I’m… trying to will it into existence.”

 

Kara steps forward and kisses Lena again. It’s quick, though not without passion. And just like the first time, it takes Lena’s breath away.

 

“Tomorrow night,” Kara says. “Seven. I’ll pick you up from work.”

 

Kara takes Lena’s hand and kisses the back of it, a last goodbye before she leaves the Butterfly House.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Lena says to herself, taking a deep breath for what feels like the first time all afternoon. She whips out her phone and texts Jess.

 

_ Date tomorrow night. Cancel all mtgs from 4pm & pls pick up the dress from the dryclearners.  _

 

**_the booby one?_ ** Jess replies.

 

_ Ofc the booby one Jessica this is defcon one. _

 

**_is that the good one or the bad one i can never remember :|_ **

 

_ Are you trying to kill me because it’s working _

 

///

 

For the first time since she was five, Lena has an unproductive day.

 

She’s been awake since the early hours of morning and her hands shake with the caffeine in her system. All she can think about is seeing Kara again, of the kissed they shared the day before. She’s not sure exactly what she did to deserve Kara, the embodiment of sunshine and happiness. It scares her, the thought of being with someone so genuinely  _ good _ , especially when she thinks about her own past and her family’s, too. Will Kara still like her when she learns more about the Luthors? Will she like Lena when she knows of the adultery and anger that led to her existence? When she learns of the backdoor business deals and the immoral amounts of hoarded wealth sitting in multiple offshore bank accounts?

 

How can Lena possibly be with somebody so good when she herself is the very opposite?

 

So yeah, she spends the day not thinking of anything else except perfect Kara and seeing her again.

 

At six o’clock she gets changed into a blue dress that hugs her curves perfectly and shows just enough cleavage to keep people wanting more. She asks Jess to zip up her dress; her hands are still shaky.

 

(Jess also pours her a very generous glass of whiskey. Lena thinks Jess might become the first assistant in history on a CEO’s salary because she’s ready to give her truckloads of money at this point.)

 

And at five minutes to seven, Jess knocks on her door and tells her that Kara is waiting downstairs - because of course she’s early - and she wishes Lena luck with a smile on her face.

 

Lena’s not sure what she expected, to be quite honest. Part of her thought Kara didn’t own any clothes outside of her work uniform, and that she’d be going on a date with somebody in a full safari get up. But instead, Kara’s swapped her usual khaki for a navy blue suit. Lena’s never realised just how insanely long Kara’s legs are, but the perfectly-fitted suit shows them off in all their glory. She leans against the security railing, one hand in her pocket and the other holding a bouquet of flowers. The top button of her white shirt is undone and relaxed, the blazer also undone for a more casual look. She’s not wearing her glasses, and as Lena approaches her, she can see just how blue her eyes look when paired with the blue of the outfit. 

 

When Kara spots Lena, she breaks into a wide grin, and it makes Lena feel like nothing else exists around them, not the workers, not the security guards, nothing; it’s just them, smiling at each other like the fools they are.

 

“We’re matching!” Kara exclaims, as though it’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to her.

 

“Of course we are,” Lena says, her voice a certain type of sultry she definitely wasn’t aiming for. “We both have exquisite taste.”

 

Kara gulps, fumbling to hand her the flowers.

 

“I didn’t know what your favorites were so I got you one of every sort of flower the store had.”

 

Sure enough, the bouquet is huge, like a patchwork quilt of mismatched flora. Lena loves it. She buries her nose in them, inhaling deeply. 

 

She turns to the security guard standing closest to them. 

 

“Charlie, could you please run these up to Jess and ask her to put them in some water and on my desk?”

 

“Of course, Ms. Luthor,” he replies, taking the flowers from Lena.

 

“So, where are we headed?” Lena asks, turning back to Kara. “I can have a driver take us wherever we want.”

 

“Actually, it’s such a nice night I thought we’d walk there.” Kara answers. Lena hesitates, trying to work out how to tell Kara that her driver is also her personal bodyguard. She hates having this talk, where her date finds out just how high maintenance she actually is.

 

“It’s only a short walk,” Kara rushes to add, seeing Lena’s hesitation. “If your heels hurt your feet, I can carry you there.”

 

Lena laughs softly. “That’s very chivalrous of you.” She decides to throw caution to the wind.

 

“Lead the way,” she says.

 

Kara links their fingers, and Lena feels her heart flutter.

 

///

 

“Lena, why is that jacked dude following us to the restaurant?”

 

“That’s, uh, my security detail.”

 

“Oh, cool! Do you think he’ll arm wrestle me?”

 

///

 

The restaurant is jam packed with the evening rush, and Lena can feel heads turn and look at her as she walks passed. It’s a well-known place, one she’s only heard good things about. She can’t remember the last time she didn’t eat dinner in her office, and now the rich and powerful of National City are getting front row seats to her first date with Kara.

 

The maitre de sits them in a booth with high walls, so at least they have some semblance of privacy. They give him their orders.

 

“How’d you get a reservation here on such short notice?” Lena asks, accepting a glass of red wine from the server. 

 

“My sister’s girlfriend owns the place, so I called in a favour.”

 

“Your sister’s girlfriend is Maggie Sawyer??” Lena asks, shocked.

 

“You know Maggie?”

 

“She’s been on GLAAD’s thirty under thirty for the past few years, of course I know her. A mutual friend tried to set us up on a date a while back but I had to cancel last minute.”

 

“And now she’s dating Alex. Wow, the lesbian world really is tiny.”

 

“Anyway,” Lena says, “enough about your sister’s dating life. I want to know more about you.”

 

“Well, what do you want to know?” Kara asks.

 

“Why a zookeeper? That’s like becoming a fireman or an astronaut; it’s like a kid’s dream job.”

 

“Do you want the long story or the short story?”

 

Lena leans in closer. “I could listen to you talk forever.”

 

Kara laughs. “So the long one then. I dunno. I didn’t speak much english when I first moved here. It was hard to keep up in school when I didn’t know what I was being taught. And kids, well, kids are mean to anybody slightly different than them. And I was basically from another planet. Not to mention Alex and I didn’t get along as well as we do now.”

 

“It sounds lonely,” Lena says. She reaches out and rests her hand on Kara’s.

 

“Clark used to come to town a lot, and it was the only time I felt normal. God, it was the best. He’d speak to me in my native tongue and it felt like I was back at home. Somehow we started going to the zoo whenever he was around. And, well, the animals didn’t know how to speak english either.” She pauses, frowning. “Except, well, there were a couple of mean parrots. They swore a lot. Anyway, I loved the way the zookeepers could intuit what an animal needed through body language and just knowing the animals’ personalities.”

 

“So being a zookeeper was always the plan,” Lena posits.

 

“The original plan was to be a doctor.”

 

“Like a doctor for people?”

 

Kara laughs. “Yeah. My undergrad was in medical science and I was ready to become a people doctor. Then in my senior year my adoptive mother died. And I thought, fuck it. Life’s too short to be doing anything other than living your dreams. So I got my masters in zoology and a PhD in veterinary science. Just don’t ask me how to spell veterinary.”

 

“Wow. A PhD and you’re only twenty five.”

 

Kara scoffs. “You had two by the time you were twenty three.”

 

Lena raises an eyebrow.

 

“I… might’ve googled you,” Kara admits. “Before we first met. I had to know what I was walking into.”

 

“So you already know everything there is to know about me.”

 

“Well I know your favourite colour is green because you told me that on your third visit to the zoo. I know your middle name is Kieran because, well, actually I know that one from the internet. But I know you have a tattoo on the top of your back, because you can only see it when you wear things with a low back. And I know,” Kara leans in closer, like she’s toying with Lena. “I know that you like to run your fingers through my hair when you kiss me.”

 

Lena closes the gap between them, kissing Kara softly, surely. 

 

“Well what do we have here,” says a voice, interrupting them. Kara groans, shoulders slumping, forehead resting against Lena’s.

 

“Hello, Maggie,” she says without looking up.

 

Sure enough, Lena finds Maggie Sawyer smirking at them, their plates of food in either hand.

 

“I thought I’d come and say hi, I didn’t think you’d be giving my other guests a show.”

 

“We’re not--” Kara starts, getting defensive.

 

“I’m kidding, jeez,” Maggie laughs. “I really did just want to say hi. I haven’t seen you in ages.”

 

“Yeah, Alex has me working long hours these days.”

 

“And yet you always have time to hang out with Lena,” Maggie teases, laughing when Kara blushes. “God, Danvers, it’s way too easy to get under your skin.”

 

“Excuse me,” Lena says, butting in, “but I’d appreciate it if you stopped antagonising my date.”

 

Maggie cocks her head to one side - the way her friend warned her about - and smiles at Lena, dimples and all. Lena knows instantly that they never would’ve worked out if they dated.

 

“The legend herself,” Maggie says. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

 

“Likewise.”

 

It’s a tense moment, like two puppies sizing each other up. Lena’s sure that her and Maggie will get along, eventually. But for now she just wants to get back to her date, and she wants to keep kissing Kara Danvers.

 

“Desserts on me,” Maggie says finally, and Kara smiles, clearly counting the turn of events as a win. Maggie bids them farewell and retreats back to the kitchen.

 

Kara kisses Lena once more, lightning fast, before the begin eating. The rest of the meal goes by without another interruption, save for the refilling of wine glasses whenever necessary. The conversation between them is natural and flows easily, and Lena finds herself more and more enamoured with off-the-clock Kara Danvers.

  
But before they can enjoy their dessert, Kara’s phone rings and she sighs when she sees who’s calling.

 

“Sorry,” she says, “it’s the zoo.”

 

“Go ahead,” Lena replies, and Kara answers the phone. Lena can barely follow the conversation, something about a sick tiger who isn’t responding…. She’s distracted by Kara’s jawline, by the way her brow furrows as she talks seriously, the way her lips move as she speaks.

 

Eventually, she hangs up the phone and looks at Lena, her eyes filled with the apology she’s yet to say.

 

“I’m so sorry about this, Lena,” she says. “I have to go into work.”

 

“Is everything alright?”

 

“Arthur seems to be not responding to anything the night staff does, which is strange since he was perfectly fine this afternoon. I have to go in and check his vitals and meds and figure out what’s wrong. It’s just, he’s still so young and--”

 

“You don’t have to justify this, Kara, I get it. We can get dessert another time,” she says, and she really means it, even if she’s a tad disappointed.

 

Kara’s eyes light up with an idea, and she says, “I’ll be right back.”

 

And before Lena realises what’s happening, Kara leaves the table and is back maybe two minutes later with a brown paper bag in each hand.

 

“I settled the bill, so we can get going now.”

 

“What’re those?” Lena asks, nodding to the bags.

 

“This is us having our cake and eating it, too,” Kara says with a smile, clearly way too proud of herself for having thought of the joke. “Arthur shouldn’t take too long, so we can finish up our date properly. Because I’m having a really good time, and I get it if you don’t wanna do it, which is also so totally fine-”

 

“Kara,” Lena says, cutting off Kara before she starts ranting properly. God, she loves listening to those rants. “That sounds perfect. Let me call a car.”

 

///

 

The zoo at night has an eerie feel to it, like seeing behind the curtain for the first time. Lena feels like she’s trespassing, like she’s not allowed to be there. But she and Kara stroll hand in hand through the park, the entire place to themselves, a comfortable silence settling between them.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Kara says out of the blue.

 

“Of course,” Lena replies.

 

“How have you been, since your brother died?”

 

Lena is overcome with emotion; she’s not sure if it’s the first time somebody’s asked her if she’s okay, but to be honest, she can’t remember another time. When Lex died, everybody expected her to denounce his views and take over the company. She didn’t want to mourn the crazed, hateful person her brother had become, not publicly, nor in private. But it also meant she never got to mourn the kind, loving person her brother used to be. She misses him, but she’s missed him for a lot longer than he’s been dead.

 

“I’m sorry,” Kara says when Lena doesn’t reply, “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

 

“No, it’s fine. I… To be honest with you, part of me is relieved? Like, I’ve been on edge for so long, waiting for calls about Lex doing something bad or getting hurt or whatever… At least now I’m not just perpetually waiting for bad news.”

 

“Loving complicated people is hard,” Kara says simply, and Lena nods in agreement. They arrive at the rooms where Arthur’s being kept, and Lena watches with admiration as Kara easily slips into vet mode. She takes off her blazer, throws it on a nearby chair and rolls up the sleeves on her shirt, revealing her toned forearms. 

 

“He’s been really lethargic and unwilling to eat all night, but his vitals seem fine,” Nia says. Lena stays by the door, watching it all unfold.

 

Kara looks over Arthur’s notes, a crinkle in between her eyebrows appearing. 

 

“It could just be a bit of a flare up,” Kara says, “but he’s been on meds for four days, it should be starting to dissipate by now.” 

 

“I didn’t want to call you but--”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kara says. “Why don’t you head home? I’ll take over Arthur duty for tonight.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Totally.”

 

Nia wishes them goodnight, and leaves. Lena still stands by the door, unsure how close she should get to Kara in action.

 

Kara closes the chart and walks over to his pen, where Arthur lays sullenly. But when he sees Kara, he leaps up, trotting over to the mesh net and mewing at her, his energy clearly back. She leans down and picks him up, and he snuggles in close to her chest, perfectly happy and healthy. Kara snorts, shaking her head at the young animal.

 

“He’s just needy, that’s all. He missed me.”

 

“I don’t blame him,” Lena says, causing Kara to smile.

 

“Now he’s over tired.”

 

She watches the way Kara cradles Arthur like a newborn against her dress shirt, running one of her hands over his little head, whispering a lullaby under her breath. There’s such care in Kara’s touch, such compassion in her eyes. 

 

And Lena wonders if falling in love is as simple as watching a woman in a fancy suit nurse a tiger cub back to health, because it definitely seems to be.

 

“Do you wanna hold him?” Kara asks, looking up at Lena.

 

“Uhh…”

 

Kara doesn’t wait for an answer, she brings Arthur over to Lena and Lena puts her arms out weirdly. She’s never been much of a baby person, and now she understands that that applies to babies of all species. Kara gently places a tired Arthur into her arms. He’s heavy, but he’s a lot softer than she expected. He stares up at her, his head quirked to the side, too tired to question anything. She stares down at him, trying to breathe as softly as possible as to not startle or scare him. Kara stares at her with a small smile, but Lena doesn’t even notice, becoming more and more enamoured with the tiger in her arms.

 

Kara wonders if this is what falling in love feels like, contentment and peace falling over you as you watch the most exquisite woman in the universe warily eye a big cat. And she thinks that maybe Lena falls under her destiny of loving complex creatures, because she thinks that this woman - this beautiful, smart, kind woman - is the most complex thing she’s ever met.

 

///

 

Things fall apart fairly quickly, and Lena feels like a fool for not seeing it coming. 

 

Not long after their date, Lena set up a google alert for Kara on her phone. She doesn’t care what people say about her, but she wants to know when they start going after Kara, too. Weeks go by without anything happening. Lena feels herself falling for Kara, falling hard and fast, falling in that way that can’t be stopped.

 

And then. And then.

 

Her phone dings once. Then twice. And then it about a dozen more times. Jess comes barging in.

 

“Ms Luthor--”

 

Lena sighs. “What’re they saying?”

 

“A few are saying you’re shirking your responsibilities as CEO to go to the zoo every other day. More are saying you’re using Kara to invest big in the zoo. Lots of ‘sources’ from here and the zoo. Crackpot theorists think you’re going to experiment on the animals. A couple have made the connection between Kara and Clark Kent, so they’re bringing up Lex.”

 

Lena rolls her eyes. “Naturally.”

 

She pulls up a news site that she fairly frequents, a well respected source in National City. Their main headline reads:

 

**LENA ZOO-THOR: Why is this billionaire so interested in one of National City’s favourite locations?**

 

It’s followed by photographs taken of her and Kara from various distances, mostly blurry, sneaky shots. Kara with her arm around Lena’s shoulder. Lena leaning up to kiss Kara. Their hands intertwined. Intimate moments never meant for public consumption.

 

This, this is exactly what Lena didn’t want. She never wanted Kara’s name thrown together with hers, under the scrutiny of National City and the rest of America. She also doesn’t want it to seem like her company has any vested interest in the zoo (which it definitely doesn’t), but the payments connecting them both, when coupled with Lena and Kara’s budding relationship could look troubling to say the least.

 

No, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

She dials Kara’s number, something she committed to memory early on in the courtship.

 

“Hey, Lena,” Kara says, picking up after the second ring. Lena can hear wooing and jeering in the background. “Sorry, I’m in the break room. The others are being assholes.”

 

“So I assume you’ve seen the articles?”

 

“Yeah. They were a surprise. Alex is trying to weed out the source on our side; I think she would’ve made a great detective in another lifetime.”

 

“Do you-” Lena takes a breath. “Do you have a moment to talk?”

 

“Always,” Kara replies, and Lena listens to shuffling on the other end, a door closing. “Okay. I’m alone now. What’s up?”

 

“I… These photos, these articles, they’re a lot. A lot to handle.”

 

“I can handle it, don’t stress.”

 

“I know… But maybe we should slow things down. Maybe right now isn’t the best time.” Lena feels her stomach drop even though she’s the one who’s speaking. Hearing the words out loud feels terrible. Kara is silent.

 

“You’re worried about a couple of articles?”

 

“It’s… it’s a lot of press, press LCorp doesn’t necessarily need at the moment. Not to mention, Kara… I know how they talk about people in those tabloid, because I’ve been in them since I was four years old. I don’t want to put you through that. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.”

 

Kara’s quiet for a moment. Lena holds her breath, waiting for a response.

 

“Don’t you think,” she says finally, “that I can decide whether or not I’m okay with that? Do I even get a choice here?”

 

“I know what it’s like,” Lena says again. “It’ll be nonstop, all the time, it’ll ruin everything between us.”

 

“Only if we let it,” Kara counters. “I mean, don’t you think this is worth fighting for?”

 

_ Of course I do _ , Lena wants to say,  _ this is all I want.  _ But her logical brain cells converge with her dumb bitch brain cells and all she ends up saying is,

 

“I’m sorry, Kara.”

 

“Yeah, you keep saying that,” Kara says, a little angrier now. “But you know what? Everything you’re saying just sounds like excuses for fear, excuses that shouldn’t matter in the long run. You’re being… you’re being a coward.” It’s the angriest Lena’s ever heard Kara sound. An anger that’s half frustration and half sadness. An anger, Lena knows, she has caused.

 

“I’m sor-”

 

“Sure. Okay. Bye.” Kara hangs up the phone and Lena rests her head in her hands, feeling a migraine coming on.

 

///

 

“I told you so,” Alex says.

 

“That’s not what I need right now,” Kara says softly. “I just need you to bring me ice cream and watch When Harry Met Sally with me. Maggie, too.”

 

“We’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Alex says.

 

“Can you swing by the restaurant and bring desserts?”

 

“Why do you think we’re think we’re taking longer than five minutes? We’re already on our way to pick up the lava cakes.”

 

“See you soon.” Kara ends the call.

 

She snuggles down into the cocoon of blankets she’s made for herself. She stares at the blank television and she waits for tears that never come.

 

How is it that she’s too sad to cry?

 

How is she supposed to go back to the zoo, she wonders, and see all of the places that remind her of Lena on sight? How is she supposed to care for animals that once belonged to Lex Luthor without feeling sadness so overwhelming it leaves her incapable of crying? And then it hits Kara.

 

Lena’s not going to come back and see the animals. She’s too nice, she’ll avoid the zoo to spare Kara’s feelings, to put an end to the rumours swirling about her vested interests. Lena will never be able to see Lex’s animals again, not Daphne or Octavia or Cornelius. 

 

And then Kara cries.

 

///

 

“I can’t believe how stupid you’re being.”

 

“Ex _ cuse  _ me??” Lena says. 

 

Jess slams Lena’s office door behind her, giving them some privacy.

 

“Ending things with Kara! Why the hell would you do something so incredibly idiotic??”

 

“Might I remind you,” Lena says, anger rising, “that I’m still your boss, and you might want to think about the way you talk to me.”

 

Jess rolls her eyes, not backing down. “If you don’t listen to the next words I say very carefully, I’m handing in my two weeks’ notice.”

 

“You can’t--”

 

“Sit down.”

 

Lena looks at her confused. “I’m… already sitting?”

 

“Right, sorry. I rehearsed this outside.” Jess takes a deep breath. “There’s no good reason for why you broke up with Kara. There’s lots of good excuses, but none of them are actual, honest to god reasons. You got scared. It’s okay to admit. You moved really fast and you felt yourself falling in love and these tabloid pictures reminded you that you aren’t in a little bubble anymore. Kara… she is so good for you. I’ve never seen you as happy as when you’re with her. Throwing it all away because you care about what the world thinks? Suck it up. Ignore the world. Kara should be the only thing that matters.”

 

“You think I want this?” Lena says. “Nothing good survives here, Jess.”

 

“What the fuck does that even mean??” Jess says. “You’re not some melodramatic comic book villain, you’re a young woman who’s found someone she loves very much! And you should be working on keeping her in your life.”

 

“I’m not good enough for her,” Lena admits. “She deserves better.”

 

“Well then be better. She makes you better, love always does.”

 

“That’s easier said than done,” is all Lena can think to reply.

 

“Well it fucking shouldn’t be. Start prioritising your own happiness, Ms. Luthor.”

 

“Thank you, Jess.”

 

A beat passes.

 

“You’re not going to call her, are you?” Jess asks.

 

“I’ll entertain the thought,” Lena says. She knows that Jess is right, that her fear has managed to take ahold of her life. There’s nothing she can do to stop it. She’s scared of moving too fast. She’s scared she’s not good enough for Kara. 

 

She’s scared that she’s lost her only chance at happiness.

 

///

 

The sun hangs high over National City, and Lena’s office has a front row seat to the beautiful spring day. She stares at the shining skyscrapers, reflecting the sun’s rays, making the city look like it’s made of diamonds. Her thumb hesitates over her phone screen as she debates calling Kara.

 

She knows Jess is mostly right. She knows that she succumbed to her fears. 

 

But she also knows that Kara is too kind and gentle and  _ good  _ to be inevitably fucked over by Lena or her mother or the board of the company somehow. The good things in Lena’s life must always come to an end, eventually. This was Kara’s end.

 

“Am I disturbing anything?” comes a familiar voice from her office door. Lena whirls around, coming face to face with Kara. Kara, in her khakis and boots and hat.

 

“What’re you…”

 

“Jess let me in. She said you were moping.”

 

“Right. Of course she did.” Lena feels Kara’s eyes follow her as she walks over to the couch and sits down. Kara takes a seat beside her. Lena chest is tight, like her heart is about to explode. She wonders if you can die from love complications.

 

“I understand your decision, Lena. I don’t like it but I can accept it and I’ll give you your space. But…” Kara pulls something out of her top pocket. “I want you to know that you can still come to the zoo any time you want. Don’t feel like you can’t come because of me, you can see Lex’s animals any time of day; I know how much you love them.”

 

She hands Lena the contents of her pockets, and she stands up and leaves. Lena holds her breath until she hears the door click shut and she knows she’s alone again.

 

And then she looks down at the small envelope Kara has given her. Her name is written on the front of it in the messiest handwriting Lena’s ever seen. She opens the envelope, and she lets out an involuntary ‘oh no’.

 

There’s a stack of polaroids inside, snaps of all of Lex’s animals, with their name and a small illustration doodled on the white strip. Lena is dumbfounded. Does Kara think Lena actually  _ likes  _ those dumb animal? Does she think Lena wants to go to the zoo if Kara isn’t there, that she started going there for any reason other than to see Kara??

 

_ Goddamnit _ , she is so fucking stupid. Kara, that is. With her khaki get up and that damn hat and those flip up glasses that make her look like fucking Zookeeper Urkel. Does she really not get it??

 

Fuck. Lena can’t let her leave. 

 

Kara rushes out of her office, ignoring the smirk on Jess’s face. 

 

“She headed downstairs,” Jess says, and Lena heads straight for the elevators.

 

But by the time she gets downstairs, Charlie tells her she’s just missed her, she’s already gone.

 

“I’ll call a car, Ms. Luthor,” he says, sans judgement or anything else. And Lena realises that despite her shitty last name, her shitty mother, her shitty board filled with old white men, Lena has managed to surround herself with people who care for her, who know her better than she knows herself. For every Lillian, she has a Jess and a Charlie and a Nameless Bodyguard.

 

Maybe Kara is only one facet of the good in her life. Maybe there’s been good here all along. Maybe (definitely) she owes Jess an apology.

 

Lena turns and smiles at the guard, resting her hand on his shoulder.

 

“Thank you, Charlie.”

 

///

 

The zoo is surrounded by paparazzi, desperate for a glimpse of Lena or Kara. The driver gets her as close as possible to the front gates, but they still spot her, the flashes of their cameras blinding her as she struggles to get into the zoo.

 

“Ms. Luthor!” Nia says as she enters the front gates. “What’re you doing here? You definitely shouldn’t let Alex see you.”

 

“Is Kara around?”

 

“She’s starting a show at the penguins.”

 

“How the hell did she get here so quickly?? She left two minutes before me.”

 

“Uhh… she sped?”

 

Lena makes a mental note to chase up on that later, but for now she has to see Kara. She heads straight for the penguins, hoping to get there before the crowd beefs up. She sighs when she sees the crowd is three people deep already. She pushes her way through the crowd.

 

“Some penguins,” Kara says in a morose, un-Kara-like voice, “are monogamous and will mate for life, which is more we can say for the majority of humanity.” An uncomfortable laugh sounds throughout the crowd. Lena tries to wave her hand discreetly to get Kara’s attention. It works too well.

 

“Zookeeper!” a little girl calls out. “She’s waving at you, wave back!”

 

Kara frowns as she looks up to Lena and Lena turns a bright shade of red.

 

“Lena?”

 

“Can we talk?” Lena calls out, wishing there wasn’t dozens of people around. “When you’re finished?”

 

“Sure,” Kara says, turning back to the penguins. “So like I was saying, these particular penguins don’t live in the ice like we think. These little fellas actually live on the beaches in Austr--” 

 

She pauses again, facing Lena. “Sorry. You know I can’t focus on two things at once. Why are you here?”

 

“I can’t have this conversation in front of all these people,” Lena replies.

 

“Yes you can!” comes a voice from the back of the crowd. Lena sighs.

 

“You left the polaroids. Why?”

 

“Because that’s why you came to the zoo in the first place,” Kara replies, as though it’s obvious. “They’re your animals. You wanted to see them.”

 

“Are you kidding me right now, Kara? Are you actually serious??”

 

Kara’s frown deepens. “What do you--”

 

“I never cared about the damn animals!” Lena bursts. The crowd gasps dramatically. “I came to the zoo to see you, every time!” The crowd awws.

 

“No-”

 

“You came to my office and I was so damn enamoured, I had to see you again. I flirted with you, I told you I wanted to see the zookeepers! That’s you!”

 

“I thought you were making a joke.”

 

“I need you to know. It was only for you. I needed to spend more time with you, all the time I possibly could. I messed up and I understand if you don’t forgive me, but Kara… I’m terrified. The future is scary. The world sucks. But you make everything so much brighter, brighter than I ever could’ve imagined. And I think… no, I know… I’m falling in love with you.”

 

The crowd awws again, and Lena remembers that she’s not alone with Kara. Kara takes off her mic pack and hands it to one of the other keepers. She takes a running jump and leaps up onto the rock facade of the enclosure, climbing up with an inexplicable ease. She climbs over the fence, the crowd moving back so she can get over. 

 

“You only get one freak out,” Kara says. God, she’s not even out of breath. Is she superhuman or something? “You’re the only thing I care about. Well. The animals, sure. Alex, too. And my friends and family. Potstickers. What I’m trying to say is, I think I’m falling in love with you, too.”

 

Lena leans forward, and she kisses Kara as the crowd erupts in cheers. She ignores the flashes of their smartphones, and she ignores the fact that her romantic outburst will definitely be on Youtube in the next hour or so.

 

None of it matters, not at all.

 

Because Kara is kissing her and Kara is in love with her and everything feels Good. And if she has it her way, she’ll love Kara for a very long time.

 

Lena knows life is strange and also scary but sometimes a woman will barge into your office in a ridiculous uniform and you just have to fall in love with her.

 

You just have to.

 

**Author's Note:**

> im still on tumblr dont worry find me at murdershegoat


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